The Rogue's Worst Nightmare Chronicles
by LEONheart Kennedy
Summary: These beauties were made by me, Cat, and Crystal. The product of lots of Pepsi, MilkWay Midnights, and hours of bad X-Men episodes. :)
1. Identity

IdentityIdentity  
  
  
By. Rogue's Worst Nightmare  
  
Identity  
Chapter one  
By Rogue's Worst Nightmare  
a.k.a Cat Smith, Crystal, and Gambit's Angel  
cat2312@cableinet.co.uk/ cmartin@roncalli-nt.roncalli.k12.nf.ca/   
gambitsangel@hotmail.com  
****It's six o'clock in the morning. 'Rogue' wakes up.  
Rogue:Ahhhh. What a beautiful da....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!(Jean comes in.)  
Jean: Gambit, what are you.....oh, baby!  
Rogue:Don't look at that! I'm Rogue. I'm in Gambit's body. It's really me.  
Jean:Shhhhheah! Whatever, buff boy. (Yells) HEY GUYS AND GALS!   
STRIPSHOW!!!!!!!!!!  
Rogue:No! Stop it!  
Betsy:Did I hear 'strip show'? Hey, hey, hey. Remy, I never imagined......  
Rogue:I'm Rogue!!!!!(Bobby enters)  
Bobby:Whoo! Gambit! Somebody loan me a dollar!  
Rogue:Don't you dare!(Hank enters)  
Hank: Oh, my stars and garters.  
Bobby: Yeah! Hey Gambit! Put on some Garters.(The 'real' Gambit comes in.)  
Remy: Did somebody say strip shooooOOOOOAH! WHO'S DAT!?!!!!!!!!  
Betsy: Gambit? Then who's..........  
All: UH, OH!  
Rogue:Told ya all!!!  
Hank:Rogue, I know you want to touch and kiss Gambit, but, really, this is NOT   
the way to go!  
Rogue: Do you think Ah choose......oh, no!  
Jean: What's wrong?  
Rogue: Ah...Ah....Ah need ta use the bathroom.  
Bobby: This oughta be fun to watch!  
Rogue: YOU AIN'T GONNA WATCH!(Rogue runs into the bathroom and locks the door.)   
While Ah'm doing this, can somebody kindly get me some clothes?  
Remy:I t'ink I should.....get the..... clothes. Yes......(Remy runs out of the   
bathroom with a grin on his face)  
Jean:Uh, Rogue?  
Rogue:Yeah? Jean:I really didn't like the look on Remy's face. I think he's   
going to wake everyone up and...  
Rogue:WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!REMYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!(She bursts out of the door and runs   
into the hallway screaming)  
Jean: ROGUE!! YOU'RE NAKED, REMEMBER?(Rogue freezes and blushes)  
Rogue:(in a wisper) help! (Ororo's door opens)  
Ororo:Remy, please, put some clothes on and stop yelling. Goddess.  
Jean:Storm, it's Rogue.  
Ororo:Oh. Still, get dressed and keep it down.(Closes her door)  
Rogue: She took that well.  
Jean: Seeing is believeing. (Looks down at 'Rogue') And I believe I want to   
devorce Cyclops and marry Gambit.  
Rogue:STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!  
Jean:Mmmmmmmmmmmm..........  
Rogue:REMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Remy:Yyyyyyyeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss????  
Rogue Let's forget the clothes and roll around in the sack. (Remy runs) GET BACK   
HERE. (Rogue runs after him and catches him.)  
Remy:HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Rogue: Come on, sugah, it ain't that bad! Ah'm still me!!  
Remy: No, you're not, you're me!! Get off me *whimper* HELP!!!!!  
Jean notices what's happening: Hey! Someone get the video camera!! I wanna   
remember this!!  
Remy, trying to get from under Rogue: I said HELP!!!!!, not get the video   
camera!  
Jean: Well, *I* said get the video camera!! (pins him down telekinetically) stay   
there, big boy. Play Girl'll pay me big money for this!!!!  
Rogue: Wahey! Thanks Jean -- An' I'm havin' some o' that money, too!!  
Remy: Whaaa!!!  
Bobby comes running along with the video camera: Whoa!! This deserves more than   
a buck!! Jean, can you lend me...?  
Jean: Not a chance!  
Remy escapes from under Rogue and legs it: AARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
Rogue: Gosh damn it!! This ain't fair!! (Try's to fly after him. Ends up   
whacking her chin on the floor) Owww...  
Jean smiles at the sight of Remy's naked body (specifically the butt :), with   
Rogue in it.  
Rogue (stares suspiciously at Jean):Ah don't lahk the look o' that look...  
Jean: Remy can wait til after I'm done with you!!  
Rogue: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rogue legs it after Remy)  
Jean chases Rogue and Remy, hoping to get one of them (or both) into bed: Get   
back here!!!  
Rogue + Remy:No way!!!  
Scott opens the door to Betsy's room, in a pair of skin-tight red PVC shorts:   
What's going on?!?  
Jean stops: Hey!! What are you doing in Psylocke's room? And what are you   
wearing!?!?  
Scott: Uhh, nothing?  
Remy pops his head around the corner: she gone? (See's Scott and grins) Nice   
night wit' Betts, homme? An' I t'ought y' said dat she weren't gon' get y' int'   
dose?! (points at the shorts)  
Scott: Why, I... uh, I don't know what you're talking about, I would never...  
Jean's eyes flash, smoke comes from her ears:You... you... cheater!!  
Remy: Oh, come on, Jean! Y' c'n do better'n dat!! Come on, it starts with a b,   
ends in d, has...  
Jean: Shut it, big boy!! You're next!! (turns back to Scott) Not only are you   
having an affair with Betsy, but you're bragging about it, and wearing PVC?!?   
You wouldn't even wear that feather boa and lace teddy when I asked you to!!!   
That's it!! If you're having Betsy, I'm having Remy!!  
Scott: No! You can't! Men need more than one woman -- its scientific, because   
we're bett--  
*WHAM!!*  
Jean: *That's* better!  
Remy: Hey! Can I have a go?  
Jean: No. he's my husband, I get to punch him. When he's _your_ husband, *you*   
can punch him.  
Remy pauses: Dat, Jean, is a scary, scary thought. Don't ev' mention it 'gain.   
'Sides, de lady wit' de cat lets me punch him!!  
Jean: Yes, well Lori isn't here -- if she was, you'd be saddled with six kids,   
so I'd shut up! Speaking of kids... lets go make some!  
Remy: Scuze me? Arghhh!!! (Jean pounces on him from the front)Lemme go!!  
Rogue: What's all the... Hey!! Jean, he's mine!! Get off him!!  
Jean looks up: You can have Scott..  
Rogue: Ewww!! Ah don't want Scott! Ah want Remy!! He's mine!! Get off! (Starts   
pulling Jean's hair. Cat fight ensues)  
Jean: My hair!!  
Rogue: You ain't gonna have no hair to worry about when I'm done!! Get off my   
boyfriend!!  
(Rogue and Jean are fighting over Remy while breaking his ribs for him. With a   
whimper, he crawls away, then legs it again. Run's into Bobby)  
Bobby: Hi, Remy (smiles)  
Remy: I don't like de look o' dat smile...  
Bobby: What smille?{smilles more leacherously}  
Remy: De smille you wearin' now!!!  
Bobby: Oh, that smille. Well I'm only smilling like that 'cause I WANT YOUR   
BODY!!!!!!  
REMY RUNS AND SCREAMS . He swerves to the left only to run right into JEAN.  
Jean: Take me , big boy!!!  
Remy: Help me please, somone help me!!!!!!!!!!  
Elsewhere, Rogue is busy trying to find Remy. Still naked{ In Remy's body.   
Mmmmmmm, Isn't that a picture, Meaw!!}Rouge runs down the hall only to bump into   
Jubillee?!  
Jubillee: Whoa, mama! Gambit,now I know why they call you the ragin' cajun. Man,   
give me a piece of that!  
Rogue: It's me, Rogue.  
Jubillee: All the better!!!  
Rogue runs, holding her hands inbetween her legs,screaming:   
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
Meanwhille, back at the ranch, Remy has finally lost Bobby and is entering the   
med-lab where Beast is trying to look smart by looking at a piece of paper and   
saying "fastinating"  
Remy: I finally lost dem. Man, does are some flipped out chicks.!!. Remy(gulping   
nerevously,going down on his knees): I DID YA HEAR AND I'M GLAD, GLAD I TELL   
YA!(starts to cry)  
Beast: Really, I can't see what they see in you( straightens his coat, looking   
nervous)  
Remy: What de matter wit' you?  
Just then Jean walks out of a room, half dressed. She smerks at Remy and goes   
over to Beast.  
Jean: That was good, lover.  
Beast: Had better.  
Jean( steam coming out of her ears{kina redundant,ain't it}): You what?!! Well,   
It was the best I had.  
Beast: Seeing as Scott is your husband, I've no doubt of that  
Jean: Why I never!!  
Beast: And you most certianly never will again.  
Jean leaves in a huff whille outside the med-lab Rogue is screaming:Help, I have   
a lesbean teen on my heels!!!!  
Bobby(rushing into the med-lab): Come on Remy, I want that ass!!!  
Rogue(coming into the room): You can'T have that ass, It's mine!!!  
Remy(looking at Rogue's behind): You better believe it!!!!  
Jubillee(runing into the room): Take me, somone, I don't want to die a   
virgin.(Then seeing two Remys, She has a total heart spaz and dies)  
Beast: She's dead!!!  
Bobby: So, we never liked her anyway.  
Enter Jean tolting a BIG bat. She is followed by Scott who is crying his eyes   
out because his wife beat him silly. Then in comes Pyslocke and Storm , who have   
no bearing on the story but were in the area and didn't have anything better to   
do. Then, wouldn't you know it, But Wolverine shows up with a bad ass look on   
his kisser.(so what else is new)  
Beast: Remy, isn't there somthing you want to tell Rogue?  
Remy(ringing his hands): I 'ad sinny make a clone of me and put you in it 'cause   
I t'ought dat dere not enough o'me in dis universe and I wanted you to know what   
it like to be moi.  
Rogue: Why you&*#!@ bastard!!!!  
Remy (looking at Jean): Least one of us have de nerve to say it.  
Then Jean and Rogue jump on Remy. Then Jubillee jumps on Bobby and beats the   
bejesus out of him.Scott goes to a corner and broods. Pyslocke and Storm beat   
each other for the hell of it and Wolverine just watches(THERE'S A   
FIRST!!!!!)Then Beast takes a gun out of his desk and shoots everyone whille   
laughing his furry head off. Soon, all the X-men are dead execpt Wolverine.  
Wolverine: They dead?  
Beast: Yes now we can do as we please. Wolverine holds out his arms and Beast   
rushes into them . Slowly their lips come down on each other   
and.............................  
WHOA! WAIT A MINITE!! HOLD ON A MITE!! WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN.THE EVIL WRITER   
HAS GONE TOO FAR!!! LET'S TURN TIME BACK AND WRITE THAT OVER AGAIN. NOW WHERE   
WERE WE? OH YEAH......  
Wolverine: They dead?  
Beast: Yes , now we can do what ever we please.  
Wolverine: Well then, LET'S MOMBO!!!!!  
And so he and Beast formed a line(not much of a line!)and kick out their legs.   
And fun was had by all.  
THE END(COME ON EVERYBODY, MOMBO. YA KNOW YA WANTA)  
  
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	2. Gambit's WHAT!?!

Gambit's WHAT!?! By. Rogue's Worst NightmareGambit's WHAT!?!  
  
  
By. Rogue's Worst Nightmare  
  
(It's morning. Everyone is in the kitchen while Remy is spewing his poor   
little heart out in the garbage while everyone watches)  
-Poor guy!(Gambit's Angel)  
Remy:*HRRRRRH*! Oh, merde......  
Jean:Hey, is that a chessy poof?  
Jubilee:No, it's a veal roll-up!  
Rogue:Oh, Remy, my poor little dear. Are you okay? (Remy barfs on Rogue)   
YOU LITTLE (beep)! I'M GONNA KICK YOU IN THE........  
Logan:Ahhhh, let the Gumbo die in peace.  
Hank:Ummmm, Remy, have you gained weight?  
Remy:Five pounds! Sue me!(Gets handed a million orders to be in court.)   
IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEACH!!!!!!  
Hank:(Alarmed)Five pounds!!!!!! To the Test-Mobile!!!!(Cue Batman song   
from the '70's!)  
(At the Test Mobi...-um, Lab)  
Hank:Robin.....I mean Remy, I found out what has caused your morning   
sickness. You're gonna be a daddy. Or is that a Mommy? (Ponders it until   
Remy faints.) Oh, that's gotta hurt.  
Remy:No, no dis is a joke. I got de flu, right Hank? (Get's no answer   
and panics) Hank? Mon ami? (Answers by holding up a tube filled with blue   
liquid.) Oh, merde! Who's is it?  
Hank:It's Rogue's and it was put there by Sinister.  
Remy:How do you know?( Hank peels off a sign off Remy's back that   
says....  
I made you pregnant,  
It's Rogue's.  
Ha, ha!  
Later,  
Sinister.)  
Remy:Wow, so little words. Um, Hank. How's de kid supposed to get out?  
Hank:Um, do you really want to know? (Remy gasps and cups himself.)  
Remy:No. NO. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (Remy faints.)  
Hank: (Panics) Of course we could do a C-section! Remy!!!!!!  
(Enter Rogue's room. Remy and Rogue are sitting down on her bed. Remy's   
trying to break the news.)  
Remy:Um, Rogue, um soon, um, you're gonna get, um, ah, a present...  
Rogue:OH! Are you gonna ask me to marry you!?! Oh, Ah'm so happy.  
Remy:No, dat's not it.  
Rogue:But Gambit's Angel's writtin' this story. We always get married   
and live happy when she writes.  
Remy:Not if Cat and Crystal has anyt'in' to do wit' it. Where was I? oh,   
yeah. Um, the present will make you happy.....dere's a hint...I t'ink.....  
Rogue:SPILL IT CAJUN!!!!!!!!!!!(hold up her fist.)  
Remy:(Very fast and panicy)I'M PREGNANT WITH YOUR KID!!!!!!!!!!!(Faints)  
Rogue:YOU'RE WHAT!?!(Rogue thinks and turns smug.)You don't know it's   
mine. It could be Jean's. Remember 'More than Friends'?  
Hank:On contrary, it's yours.  
Rogue:Um, Hank.  
Hank:Yes Rogue?  
Rogue:(Wispers)How did you all get here?  
Hank:(Frightened) I......don't....know.(Hugs Rogue for protection)  
(Five months later. Remy's as big a a house)  
Rogue:Sugah, that's the fifth gallon of ice cream you ate today.  
Remy:(Finishing off the carton) I know, is dere any more?  
Rogue:Hon, are you sure you're not havin' twins?  
Remy:Nope. (Rogue sighs) Six. (She faints.)  
Scott: What is this? "More the Marrier?" And Remy, you are all the Coco   
Krispies and Granola.  
Remy:(Staring at Scott's stomach) Hey, Scottie! Scott: This isn't Rocky   
Horror Remy!  
Remy:I know, but have you been gainin' weight?  
(Five minutes later)  
Scott: Great! Now I'm pregnant!  
Remy:Join the club. ( Flips him a "M.I.P" card. (Men in Pregnacy))  
Scott: Man, do I feel special!  
Remy: I know.  
Then in rushes, Beast jumping for joy and laughing out loud.  
Beast: I'm going to be a mother!!!!! I'm going to be a mother!!!!   
Scott And Remy: Not you too!!  
Scott: Guess I'm not specal after all!   
Exit Scott, crying his eyes out   
Remy: I hate weepy pregant men.  
Beast in the meanwhille, is eating all the chocolate rocky road in the   
fridge.  
Beast: Oh happy day, I can gain pounds without guilt.   
Remy: But you're hips is gona suffer, I know.  
Remy waddles(can you imagne?) out the door and down the hall. Then he   
hears" Watch out, Wide load". He turns to see Logan, who is peceding to   
laugh his face off(you know you want him to)Then ,Beast, who is wearing a   
chocolate mouth, comes out of the the room.   
Beast:Don't laugh my friend, you're pregant too.   
Logan then precedes to faint.  
Meanwhille, back at the ranch, the X-women(kina hard to tell whose a   
woman in this story) sit down and talk.   
Jean: Well I think it's about time that they learned what it's like   
to be a woman.  
Rogue: Well Ah don't. You heard Hank. The babies have to come out and   
they have to come out somwhere. Poor Remy.  
Jean: Poor Scott.  
Then in comes ArchAngel. He is wearing a grin   
Warren: Did you hear that Logan and Hank are pregant?   
Jean: Logan?(Nervous now) Logan's pregant?   
Warren: Yeah. This is going to be great. Now I can pick on them till   
either Marvel shuts us down or the world comes to an end.  
Rogue: Jean , you look nevous, sugah, what's wrong?  
Jean : Oh, n..nothing's w..wrong. Really.  
And before we can find out why Jean is so nervous, Crystal , who just   
happens to be writing this part, desides she has no idea where she's going   
and goes to where the action is.  
Remy( Kniting BABY BOOTIES): I don' want to be a mother. It'll be such a   
burden. If I ever get my hands on Sinster.....  
Scott: You'll kick the living snot out of him?   
Remy: Why you always got to finish my sentences? Don' t'ink I can do it   
myself, is dat it? You want to get it on ,homme, let's get it on.  
Warren(walking into the room): Oh,yeah,cat fight.Hiss! Reaouw!Fiss,   
fiss!   
Scott and Remy: LET'S GET HIM !!!  
Scott and Remy then precede to beat the bejesus out of him.(enter sound   
effects like CAPLOW!! and BANG!!)   
Remy: What de hell was dat?  
Scott: Didn't you hear Crystal? It was a CAPLOW and BANG.  
Remy(holding his bulging belly): Oh Shit, de baby's coming!!!  
Scott(holding his too): So's mine.  
Remy; Dis is impossable. We ain't due for another 4 months!  
Scott: Crystal's writng , remember? You know she's always in a hurry.   
Remy(looking up): What I do to deserve dis ,Chere? Crystal, You know you   
love me too much to hurt me.   
Then , Remy feels no pain. He isn't even pregnant because Crystal was so   
over come with love for him.  
Scott: That's no fair!(looking at the sky) Remember what he did to   
Rogue?  
Then, Remy sceams in pain and is pregnant again.  
Remy: You BITC.......ARRRGGAAAHHH.  
Then in comes Hank withvery sharp medical instroments.  
Scott and Remy(cupping themseleves): I don't wanta lose my balls !! I   
don't wanta lose my balls!!!  
Warren(from the floor): Who said you had any to lose?  
GAMBIT: Shut up!!  
BEAST, looking up at the sky: Should we tell them?  
CATATRON*(voice of Cat, who is now writing this):Well, Remy, maybe...  
BEAST, now to Remy and Scott: Neither of you are on the bright side, are you?  
SCOTT: How dare you!?! I am the most wonderful, intelligent man on this earth!!   
REMY: You've *ouch!* been overdoing dat coffee, 'gain, eh? *oww!!!* 'Sides,   
Henri, what d' y' mean? *feminine shriek*   
HANK: I mean, do either of you know what a caeserian section is?   
ANGEL: Isn't that a film with Morgan Freeman?  
HANK:...No... You cut the stomach open, dearies...  
CATATRON: But Scott get's a gratituous nuetering while he's at it!!  
ANGEL: Yeah!!!   
CATATRON: Angel too!  
ANGEL: No!!!   
HANK: That sounds quite a good idea, actually!  
REMY: Yeah! Hey, (addresses CATATRON) almighty-speaking-cloud... Y' don't wanna   
make me not pregnant do y'?   
CATATRON: No.  
REMY: Aw, Crystal did!  
CATATRON: Yeah, but I'm not as kind. Heh.  
REMY: You're gon' tell me it's f' m' own good, next!  
CATATRON: No, I'm gonna tell ya it's about time the men had to suffer.  
REMY and SCOTT: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1   
CATATRON: Heh, heh, heh!!! 'Sides, it's a joyous sharing experience that'll   
change your life!   
REMY: Yeah, I'll never get rid of these stretch marks *sniff*  
CATATRON: Aw, poor baby!   
REMY, brightening up:Does dat mean y' gonna make me not pregnant do y'?  
CATATRON: In ya dreams! Hank -- the scalpel! And no anaesthetic!   
REMY and SCOTT:WHAT!?!?!?!   
CATATRON: Damn, I'm good!   
ANGEL: No, I'm good -- that's why I'm called Angel!  
BEAST: You know, Warren, I have a bigger scalpel around here somewhere...   
SCOTT: Yes, but if you cut off his wings, we'll have to think up a new name for   
him...   
REMY, with a strangled sound:Think!?!?  
ANGEL: Oh, God, NO!!!!   
SCOTT and REMY: ARGHHHH!!!!  
(Rogue and Jean (very belatedly) run in)   
ROGUE: Oh, mah poor sugah bunch! Are yah all raht!?!  
REMY and SCOTT: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ARGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
JEAN, smirking: This should be good!   
ROGUE thinks a while. Then a while longer. Then a bit more... there:Ya know, ya   
raht. It's about time men have ta put up with some real pain!!  
CATATRON: Damn right!   
ROGUE shrieks and looks around suspiciously: Who said that!?!  
CATATRON: Just me.   
ROGUE: Ummm...   
HANK: Oh, please Rogue. You've been here 3 years now. Don't tell me you're not   
used to voices coming out of nowhere!  
CATATRON: It's not nowhere, it's my hou--   
REMY and SCOTT: ARGG--   
CATATRON: Ahem!   
REMY and SCOTT: Sorry.  
CATATRON: Thank you. It's my house. And I control you. Let's have another howl   
of pain from the two pregnant men:   
REMY and SCOTT: ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!   
ROGUE: Wow! Ah wana do that! Can ah do that?  
CATATRON: No.   
ROGUE: Aw! Ah wanna--  
REMY: Hello!!! We pregnant here! Did ev'one forget dat?   
JEAN: Er... Well, yes, actually...   
HANK: Here's the scalpel!   
SCOTT and REMY cling onto one another and give off a scream. Why? Well, you know   
how just before you have an injection, everyone tells you that the needle is   
this big while holding their hands apart two feet? Well, this is like that. Only   
more pointy bits. And the scalpel is really there :)   
JEAN and ROGUE: I/Ah can't/cain't watch this!   
ANGEL: I can!   
CATATRON: You still want that neutering?   
ANGEL: Er, no thanks.   
CATATRON: Then clean my bedroom.  
ANGEL: NO way! Hey! Why are my legs moving? Where am I flying to!?! HEY!! MY   
WINGS AREN'T FEATHER DUSTERS!!!! (Angel flies out of the room, against his will)  
CATATRON: Told you I controlled yo-- (see's what's happening to Remy and Scott.)   
*ick* I'm not watching either. See ya!  
ROGUE and JEAN here whimpers, screams, the slicing of blades, more whimpering   
and screaming. And then...   
HANK: Rogue! You're a mommy!  
ROGUE turns round cautiously. See's the baby: Aw!!! He's so cute! Here, let me   
hold him! He's got the cutist little toesie wosies! Yes you have! Yes you have!   
Bww bww bww! Hi! Hi! Aren't you cute? Yes you are! Yes you are!   
HANK backs away worried: Er... Oh, Scott! I nearly forgot! (More slicing, dicing   
and whimpering)  
JEAN: Lemme see! Aw! He's a darling! Aw! Hey, Rogue, I bet mine's toes are   
cuter'n your's'!   
ROGUE: No way!   
REMY and SCOTT: What about us?!   
HANK: It appears your toes aren't cute enough to bother about.   
SCOTT: Hmmp! *whimper* Can I have some pain killers?   
REMY: Can I go to sleep?   
HANK: Sure, why--   
(Is interrupted by ROGUE arguing about cute little toesie wosies) HANK: --not.   
CATATRON: Then everyone lived happily ever after! Except Angel, who is lost in   
my room and may never find his way out. That's what he get's for being nasty to   
Remy :)   
  
  
* For those who do not know, in the book Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil   
Gaiman (yes, that Neil Gaiman :), the Voice of God (like a secretary or   
something as I recall...) is called Metatron. In this story, the voice of Cat   
(that's me!) is called Catatron. Unless I've spelt it wrong :) So now you   
know... Hope you enjoyed the story!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
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